“My bank statement? ...That’s none of my business.”

The only thing we love more than money is avoiding it.

We each have a unique way we self-sabotage our finances, but I’ve found we generally fall into one of 6 buckets.

This Money Personality series will explore each one. We’ll cover:

• What this personality is like

• How the money foundation you grew up with impacts it

• Actions you can take to fight your worst money habits

This week, let’s meet The Sleeper.

This week, meet:

➡️ The Sleeper
➡️ The Foundation
➡️ Your Way Out
➡️ Budget Bites

The Sleeper

Type: The Sleeper

Money Philosophy: Passive Running

The Sleeper’s money outlook is hopeless. Finances feels either too confusing to figure out, or too impossible to actually be successful at. Thinking about money makes the Sleeper anxious. To avoid these negative feelings, they simply look the other way and try not to think about their finances at all.

What you’ll catch the Sleeper saying:

• “My bank statement? …That’s none of my business.”

• “Umm… It’s fine. Yeah. Totally fine. I’ll just figure it out later.”

• “I have no clue how much I make.”

• “I have no clue how much I spend.”

• “I have no clue how much I owe on my credit cards.”

• “It’s okay, I’ll just put it on my credit card for now.”

• “I don’t like to talk about money..”

The foundation

There are also 6 Money Foundations.

This is what you watched happening with money in your family as a kid — and more importantly, how that’s shaped your relationship with money as an adult.

But the thing is, your personality doesn’t correspond to a specific foundation.

It’s not a prescription: you grew up THIS way, so you were bound to turn out THAT way as an adult. It’s more like a motivation: you grew up this way, so that informs why you turned out the way you did.

Let’s look at these 6 foundations (& how a Sleeper might spring from each one).

Finish the sentence:

Growing up, money was…

1. Fun, because we had plenty.

   The Sleeper got used to a life with “enough” money, so they never really learned how to manage it. Turns out, finances are overwhelming as an adult. Ignoring it feels more manageable.

2. Scarce, because we didn’t have a lot.

   When you grow up without money, it feels like there’s nothing to keep track of. So once the Sleeper did have to start keeping track of finances, they… still didn’t. Easier that way.

3. Elusive, because my family was bad with it.

   The Sleeper watched money slip away from their family over and over again. It gave them the impression that life is unfair and money makes no sense - so why even bother with it?

4. Stressful, because it caused a lot of fights.

   The Sleeper likely feels conflict-avoidant in other areas of their life, and money is no exception. Their logic: if you avoid looking at your money, you avoid feeling that conflict.

5. Encouraged, it was a game to be played, a reward to be won.

   If money’s a game, the Sleeper doesn’t want to play.

6. I don’t know. We didn’t talk about it.

   Don’t talk about money, and you don’t talk about money problems. Don’t talk about money problems, and it feels like maybe they’ll stop existing…

Your way out

As a Sleeper, the last thing you feel like doing is looking your money in the eye. In your ideal world, ignoring it really does make the problem go away.

So how does the Sleeper combat this?

It’s simple (and terrifying): you make a habit of looking at your finances. You break the fear of eye contact with money.

The Sleeper alternates between intense worry and complete passivity. You need to learn to channel those behaviors into something productive – into different projections of what your life could look like if you changed your spending habits.

Action: Expense tracking.

Phase 1 is building the habit, uncomfortable as it will be. Track how much money is coming in, track how much is going out, and reckon with whatever the difference is between those two numbers.

At the start, you need to do this with zero judgement and zero expectation for behavior changes. The only behavior change at the beginning is simply the desire to track. The will to look at your money.

Phase 2 is using this newfound knowledge to imagine new versions of your financial life. What if I spent half as much on eating out? What if I made just $200 more per month? What if I saved 10% of my income consistently?

It’s important for the Sleeper to learn that looking at money isn’t hopeless — in fact, it’s the only way you can build a path to a better place.

Budget Bites

🏖️ Expectations: What they think WFH is like

🏡 Reality: What WFH is actually like

🤳🏻 Scammer scamming: New side hustle unlocked?

🛌 Mini manifesto: On employment

💲 Landlords: Ever seen a good one?

“Wait, I need MORE”

A couple things happening in the Meet Your Money world:

• More budget breakdowns and real talk on finances here on the newsletter & on socials. Completely free, always.

• Budget Club. Twice monthly. Currently at my house. With my friends. You’re not invited. (I hope to make this a recurring, free, online event sometime… Stay tuned!)

• And coming soon — templates and 1:1 consulting time for those who need a little extra nudge.